
What is moral character and how do we build it? The truth is, we begin building our moral character at a very young age and it is shaped profoundly by the lessons we learn in our youth about how to treat other people. When we treat people with kindness and consideration, we learn that the benefits of good moral character are reciprocal and have far-reaching ripple effects on our feelings of self-worth, relationships with others, and contributions within our communities. Developing good moral character helps guide our thoughts, values, and behaviors to enable healthy relationships and well-being.
Recently, David Brooks shared his experience learning about the development of moral character with the Making Caring Common project at the Harvard Graduate School of Education. In an opinion piece for the New York Times, Brooks lays out a "Character-Building Tool Kit," drawing inspiration and ideas from the organization on how to raise children who care for the common good.
Brooks arrives at some powerful conclusions about the importance of moral character and how it developed. Here are a few of our learnings, which align to the work of Making Caring Common.
Making Kindness a Daily Practice
Research in moral character has shown that children are highly impacted by the messages and guidance they receive from their families, caregivers, and teachers. According to the Making Caring Common Project, children need practice in developing their capacities for caring and values development. But this requires direction and support from the adults they trust. When given opportunities to show care and kindness to others, kids develop an ongoing practice that strengthens over time.
At Perfectly Me, we call these capacities “HeroValues” because we believe every kid is a Superhero when it comes to their own unique strengths of character. Embedding values into our programming lets us engage children in meaningful ways about what it means to consistently show kindness to others, even when it’s sometimes challenging. Through self-reflection and introspection, children learn to develop and expand their HeroValues and then we support their growth with regular practice and reinforcement. Our camp evaluation data showed that our approach works – 96% of families felt that their children were more likely to consider other people’s feelings after attending two weeks or more of camp.
Our Perfectly Me HeroValues

Learning to Truly Listen to Others
Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is lend a listening ear. But learning to truly listen is a skill that needs development, especially for children whose impulse control is still evolving. Making Caring Common says that active listening is integral to building trust and connection between people. Being a good listener means allowing our friends to feel fully heard and express themselves fully. At Perfectly Me, one of our core “HeroValues” is good listening and we incorporate programming into our summer camps and clubs to support kids to be better listeners - and in turn, better friends.
This means coaching kids to focus on what’s being said to them, use appropriate body language to show they care, and learn the patience to wait their turn to speak. As part of building our moral character, active listening enables us to feel empathy for others and provides a safe environment for people to share their thoughts and feelings. Families who sent their children to our camps reported improvement after just two weeks in our program – 80% of families said their children were much more likely to treat others as they want to be treated (including listening to others).
Managing Negative Emotions and Conflict
It’s normal for children to be regularly confronted with some degree of conflict or negative emotions. Whether it's school stress, sibling bickering, or schoolyard bullying – giving kids the tools to manage their own feelings is a skill that improves emotional resilience over time. Making Caring Common advises families to help their kids cope with negative emotions by first identifying feelings as they arise, finding calm within themselves, and then seeking mutual understanding with others.
But sometimes children struggle to understand their own feelings and lash out because they don’t have the words or the self-control on their own. We teach kids at our Perfectly Me summer camps and clubs how to identify their feelings and resolve conflict with others in a supportive environment. This requires kids to develop a great deal of fortitude and moral character to manage negative emotions without escalation. We help kids build their resilience through conflict strategies that bring a sense of resolution to kids struggling with negative emotions. In fact, 85% of families reported an increased ability of their kids to resolve conflicts after attending our camps.
As a parent and educator, I believe that helping kids develop their moral character is paramount if we wish to live in communities built on respect, trust, and understanding.
I hope you’ll explore the ways that Perfectly Me helps families make tangible impacts on their kids' moral character in our camp evaluation, which was conducted by an independent firm about children who attended two weeks or more of our camps.
With kind regards,
Raquel
Download the Perfectly Me Camp Evaluation
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